Story Jam 1.2 Epistle to Dippy

On the fourth day, when the bridge washed out, Ignatzio sat down to watch the papayas begin to rot. The bugs came first, eating away the flesh. Moisture set in, making the bodies soggy. As the decay progressed, her body blew up puffy like a balloon. She decided to ignore the bloat and thought back to her days, now long gone, as a prima ballerina in the seventh grade troupe. How she loved to be on stage dancing for the crowd. What happened to that seventh grade ballerina? Her weight has challenged her most of her adult life, damned if she was going to stop dancing just because she wasn’t a skinny nymph!

The End

No, not really, it’s just the beginning of what can only be described as a mindless exercise in futility and obligation.

Story Jam 1.1 The Gorillas of Montana

Muriel and Humphrey exited the apartment building, only to trip over the gorilla that was lying on the cold sidewalk. The gorilla was only “playing” dead, however. Others came to visit and had to step over the gorilla. Finally he grabbed a young woman who came through the door.

“You are the gorilla my dreams,” he thought (in gorilla), but she didn’t understand a word of it. They shared a cocktail and groped in the corner, while conversation was very limited. It was strange to see two gorillas having a cocktail, but in Montana, anything goes! Except the presence of his drinking companion, a wide-eyed bush baby, recently made illegal in the mountainous state.
He wondered what it was that was recently made illegal in the mountainous state, but realized, upon reflection, he didn’t really care.

Nanoseconds of screen time

Fans and Admirers (all right, Fans) (well, People Who Know Me),

After fighting through the crowds (for "Surrogates," "Cloudy with a
Chance of Meatballs" and "Jennifer's Body"), the dozen or so of us
who sat through "The Invention of Lying" enjoyed it enormously, and
will be back to see it several times.

Just to prep you, Mark (Ricky the G's character) loses his job and
doesn't have enough money for the rent, so goes to the bank to get
the little money he does have. When he walks into the bank, the
camera is where the tellers are, and we watch him pretty close-up as
he walks tenuously toward the tellers, I appear for at least a third
of a second (that's 24 tripled frames - 8 frames, each flashed on the
screen three times) over his left shoulder (that's up and to the
right of the screen), my white lack of hair and dark suit nearly
visible, tho hardly in focus. Given how much I was paid to be there
for 10 hours, and dividing that by 1/3 second, my hourly rate for
screen time is astronomical --- nearly, I'm sure, up to Jennifer
Garner's rate. All I need to do now is get more screen time, and I
can retire a rich feller.

Thanks to all who've feigned interest in, listened to or read through
my experiences in Bossywood.

R*ch*rd

Fwd: Who is Ricky Gervais, and why is he in Richard's shot ?

Cinema lovers,

Dy and I are attending the premiere tonight - well, our premiere, anyways. Dinner and Sox until 9ish, then on to the Cinema to be showered with confetti and champagne (well, to walk on popcorn and sticky soda residue) and sign autographs (read: credit card receipts). I will see if I am, in fact, in the damn movie a'tall - here's a recap of the scene: when Ricky the G is broke, in the bank and the computer breaks down, and he discovers he can lie (about his account balance), I am at a table behind him, to his left) filling in an interminable form. Black suit, short white (okay, thinning) (okay, balding) hair, brown briefcase (my own, its first film appearance, too), and Dyan's Uncle Dan's white raincoat draped over my arm. Just not sure I'm even in the film, tho, but that's surely a technicality. Later on I'm crossing the street in the far distance, anyone who can spot me there is not paying enough attention to the film.

I may have to wear dark glazzies to get by the hordes and throngs of as-yet-unknowing admirers...

Ricky the B

Begin forwarded message:

From: Leslie

Date: October 2, 2009 4:14:58 PM EDT

Subject: Who is Ricky Gervais, and why is he in Richard's shot ?

Hi everyone,

Richard - we have been seeing the commercials for your latest movie - congrats ! My kids want to go see it. I remember you are in the bank scene. Do you know approximately when it takes place in the movie ? Just want to make sure we see you. I don't know if we can make it this weekend, but Columbus Day is approaching....

Sorry to miss the last meeting ! Hope I can make it to the next one. Martha Stewart has some clip art templates for making vellum halloween lanterns, if you all want a Halloween idea.

Muffy Stewart

Talk to you soon,

Leslie